When Words Fail Me
by CauseChocolateRocks
Summary: I love you. The three words every girl needs to hear. The three words you couldn't say when I needed them the most. And I should hate you for that. But instead, I just fall into despair without you Scorpius. Reposted. Will stay a Oneshot.


_**Rose Weasley**_

I stood there in that wrecked apartment, staring out to the sunset. I wish it was the sunset of my life, to put an end to this misery. I was watching what would hopefully be the last rays of sunlight that I would ever see. I stroked my swelled stomach absentmindedly, and a gentle kick woke me from my reverie. I reached into my ripped pocket and pulled out my wand, pointing it towards my throat. Broken tears streamed down my face, dripping off my chin, and my life flowed, as if I was going to die. That's silly; of course I was going to die. I couldn't stand this pain anymore, and nobody cared enough about me to stop me. Especially not you, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. A sob rippled through me as a flashback pushed itself into my mind.

* * *

April 23rd. My birthday party. Full of dancing teenagers, turned over chairs and dirty scenes. And then what started it all: alcohol. "Come on Rose, one more drink!" my short term and very handsome boyfriend said to me. Yes, you can guess, it was Scorpius. Since we had been dating, he hadn't stopped bugging me about how... well... _horny_ he was. Everytime I said no and I was not ready, and now he was persuaded he would get at me, even if it was by getting me wasted."Oh alright, just one more. Last one though!" I had stopped counting the glasses after the fifth that was at about ten and it was pretty close to midnight then. And we danced and danced and danced... I was so drunk I actually started stripping on a table before Scorpius pulled me down at carried me to the dormitory. Then, nothing. Total blackout.

Until I woke up the next morning, laying down on Scorpius, both of us naked except for the fact that I was wearing his shirt. I tried to stand up; except I was taken over by the worst headache I ever had in my life. I went to class normally that day, and avoided Scorpius as much as possible. But he knows me too well, and cornered me in the library that afternoon. I was totally trapped, his arms blocking all my exits, his lips at my ear, moaning and whispering.

"Now, now, now, Rose, why are you avoiding me?" he whispered seductively "Didn't you like it? I could improve, you know, if you just let me..."

I was infuriated. "I was drunk you idiot! Wait, no, I'm the idiot; I shouldn't have let you bully me into accepting all these glasses. It didn't mean anything."

"Didn't mean anything?" he asked, and started laughing. "I had to cast a _Muffliato_ spell because you were screaming my name so loudly."

"Like I said, I was drunk. Now go away." I pushed him away from me and escaped, grabbing my books on the way.

A few days later, I had forgiven him. He knows me too well for my own good.

A fast-forward happened now, and I found myself in the beginning of June, standing in front of the mirror of the Head's bathroom, staring down at the pregnancy test I had just bought. It was positive. "No. No, no, no, no. No way..." I thought. But a little hope was in the way. My mum had once told me girls were never regular, and that Muggle tests were not 100% reliable, so maybe my period was just late. Yes, that was it. It _had_ to be it. No baby, no pregnancy, with luck I might even pass my N.E.W.T.s.

* * *

Fast forward again, again to a bathroom, but this time to my parents' house. School was over, I had passed my N.E.W.T.s with mostly O's, and my parents had allowed me to stay at their house while I found a job. I had just gotten out of my shower in a hurry, and was now examining the small but definite bump taking the place of my stomach. "Oh my... This can't be, it just... it doesn't seem right. Yes, that's it." I was trying to convince myself it wasn't true, although I perfectly knew it was. I had been so worried about losing my virginity through drunk sex that I had not realised what the consequences would be.

I was living my worst nightmare.

"Rose? What are you doing in there? You've been there for ages." My brother's voice said from behind the door.

"Nothing! Whatever you do, don't come in!" I shouted definite urgency in my voice.

"What? And see you naked?! Not in a million years, if you paid me." I heard, as well as footsteps going down the stairs. I decided to go downstairs too and tell my parents. Fortunately, my mother was downstairs, but my father was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Dad? I asked

"At the ministry. Your Uncle Harry owled him. Said they cornered Jack Smickson. You know the pixie-weed dealer." She answered, looking up to me as she explained.

"Hmmm..."I answered, not really paying much attention." Listen, Mum, I have something to tell you."

"What is it darling?" she asked, looking concerned. "For your flat, it's sorted; you just need to find a job, now. I put 1000 galleons in your vault; don't forget to ask if you're a little short, OK?"

I sighed."No, no, it's not that, it's completely different. I..." I looked into her eyes, those eyes that had always trusted me, no matter what. And right now, I was betraying that trust. "I'm..."

But, at that precise moment, my father entered the room, whooping happily. "Yahoo! 25 years in Azkaban! Holy shit, I'm happy!"

My mother glared at him reproachfully. "Ronald, Rose was about to tell me something important!" She looked back at me. "Sorry, dear. Do you mind him here?"

I gulped down hard. "No, no, it's actually better with both of you here. OK. Here it goes. I'm..." I looked back at them, and they looked back at me encouragingly. "I'm pregnant of Scorpius Malfoy's baby. There." I whispered it almost inaudibly. At that moment, I wanted to disappear under the earth and never, ever come back to the surface.

My mother didn't appear to have understood, but my father had clearly heard the words "pregnant", "baby" and "Malfoy" in the same sentence. "WHAT?!" he stormed, stomping over to me and starting to shake me like a doll. "THIS CAN'T BE TRUE! MY DAUGHTER PREGNANT OF A _MALFOY_! TELL ME IT'S A JOKE ROSE, TELL ME!"

My mother ran towards him and ripped his arms away from me. "_Ronald Weasley!_" she yelled.

"Hermione, this can't be..." he was almost crying that part. "A Malfoy in the family. No, this has to be a nightmare. Wake me up, I am begging you, wake me up!" He wept.

"Ronald, this is becoming out of hand. Stop being unreasonable. It's Rose you should be worried about, not about getting a Malfoy in the family."

That seemed to wake him up. He sprang to his feet to be facing my mother. "Don't you understand? I thought you were supposed to be the clever one, Granger!" He spat at her.

She seemed seriously shaken. "Very well." She said. "Very well, you're right. I am the clever one. I just don't see how stupid I was to marry you." She waved her wand and a trunk flew downstairs, soon followed by all her clothes. The trunk landed and opened, before all her stuff floated inside it into neat piles. She started to leave, following her flying trunk until she stopped at the doorstep, and she said slowly "Oh, and Rose?" I looked up, but she didn't turn to face me. "I am ashamed to call you my daughter." And with those words, she left. My father didn't even make a move to stop her; he was too busy weeping the presence of a Malfoy in the family. I stayed there, frozen on the cold marble tiles, unable to move.

Suddenly, he sprang from his chair, knocking it on the floor, and started yelling. "OUT! OUT! No Malfoys in my house, ever! OUT NOW!" I sprinted outside, terrified. As I ran to the boundaries after which I would be able to Disapparate, I thought I heard him yell "I'll disinherit you!" But I couldn't be sure about that, my mind wasn't clear enough. I pulled out my wand and left to the only place I could go to: Malfoy Manor.

* * *

I stared at the grand castle in front of me. 'Malfoy Manor' should be renamed 'Malfoy Palace'. It was huge. I couldn't even see the end of the hedges. White peacocks were flying in flocks above my head. Exotic flowers grew everywhere, even outside the country-sized lawn, where I was standing. "Wow..." I sighed, and for a moment, I had forgotten all my problems.

"Who is you?" a very high, squeaky voice asked me. I looked around and saw a very cute house elf with bat like ears and huge, orb-like eyes.

"Oh, hello, there!" I said, delighted. "What's your name?" I asked.

The house elf shook her head. "No, no, you first." She squeaked.

"My name is Rose Weasley, and I'm here to see Scorpius." I said gravely.

"I will ask Master Scorpy if he is wanting to see you. You is waiting here until I is coming back." She said, before Disapparating with the usual loud _crack_. I sat down on a root and started waiting.

I didn't have to wait long; less than two minutes later, the house elf reappeared and immediately started pulling me towards the gate. "Come! Come!" She squeaked. "Master Scorpy is eager to see you. Yes very eager!" I watched around me at the wonderful garden, with its forest like diversity of plants and its chiselled fountains.

"What's your name, any way, you still didn't tell me.

She considered for a moment before answering "Spinkly."

I smiled. "Wow, that's a nice name!" I had been taught by my mother to respect hose elves. My mother, my father, the parents to whom I would never be able to go to anymore... Spinkly seemed to sense the despair in my heart because she didn't answer and merely pulled me faster towards the manor. She brought me through the doors, up numerous marble staircases, up to a door with a lonely word caved neatly in a beautiful script: '_Scorpius_'.

I gulped down hard. Spinkly called out: "Master Scorpy! I is bringing the Rose lady here for you!"

Scorpius opened his door very quickly, a smirk seemed permanently etched onto his face. " Rose" he cried out, delighted. I just had the time to perceive his gleaming silver eyes before the tears blurred my vision completely. His smirk vanished and he pushed me inside his room, shutting the door in Spinkly' face.

He sat me down on the bed, pulled me onto his lap and started rocking me back and forth, his arms around me. "Shush, Rose. It's okay... What's wrong, anyway?" he asked.

I breathed in deeply through my mouth and answered: "My mum left my dad. I got kicked out of the house, disinherited, I have no place to stay!" I started crying again and he stared at me, wide-eyed, bewildered.

"Oh my god! Why on earth would they do that?" he asked.

But instead of answering, I asked "Scorp, do you love me?"

He looked stunned but answered anyway." Why, yes, Of course I love you. But why would your parents do such a thing?"

I ignored his question again and asked "How much?"

His smirked returned and he looked at me with those adoring eyes, the one you imagine when you read books like _Romeo and Juliet_. He bent forward and muttered in my ear: "So much it is absolutely impossible anyone could love as much." We stayed there, in this position for a few minutes, until he asked again: "So, why would they kick you out and all that shit anyway?"

Oh no. Here comes the barging truth. "I'm..." I mumbled, and I wasn't sure how to say it, not even sure _if_ I would say it. I looked into his eyes and a voice at the back of my head said "Oh, well, he loves you, there's no way he would ditch you if you told him." First sign of madness, hearing voices." I swallowed noisily and declared, hoping very much the voice aced in Divination: "Because I'm pregnant of your child."

He stared at me blankly, not quite seeing me, until he mumbled "That's not funny Rose, That's seriously not funny.

I sighed and answered "It's not a joke, Scorpius, it's a reality. A reality you're gonna have to accept." I sounded as though I was at a funeral, gravity heavy in my voice.

"Rose, stop making things up like a two year old!" he said, honestly angry.

I stood up and calmly said "Scorpius, I'm not making anything up."

"Liar!" he yelled, and I felt tears well up in my eyes once more.

I looked up at him. "Scorpius, this is the truth. You created a living being. Now live with it? Because it's yours, whether you like it or n-"

I was cut off by a huge blow on the left cheek which threw me to the ground. Scorpius had risen so fast from the bed I didn't notice it. "Lying filthy scum!" he bellowed "My father was right, you're not worth your weight in shit!"

That hit me harder than his hand had. I calmly stood up, left the room, ran down all the stairs, out of the house, out of the garden... out of my only hope. Realisation hit me as I passed the gate and I fell to the ground, writhing in agony. I stayed there a long time. It started raining, but I remained on the wet soil.

"Rose lady should not stay there." a squeaky voice said from above me. I opened my tearful eyes and stared up at Spinkly, who was staring over me.

"Why? I have no place to go to." I said, and started sobbing again.

Spinkly shifted from foot to foot, clearly not knowing what to do. "Rose lady has nowhere to go to? Not to a friend? Not to a family? You don't have a place of your own?"

I stopped sobbing abruptly. My flat. The flat my mum had booked for me for my professional life. I still had that left. I sat up and said to Spinkly: "Yes, I do, you're right. I should go."

I stood up and started to leave but Spinkly grabbed my hand. "Wait! Wait!" she squeaked. "You is not suitable. I is going to arrange you."

She waved her short, pointy fingers at me and I was instantly dried, straightened and made-up. "Thank you, Spinkly. I don't know what I'd do without you."

She bowed, saying: "My pleasure." and Disapparated.

* * *

I started living in my flat, surviving on the money my mother had added to my Gringotts vault, trying to find a job. Every day I tried, and every day there were more excuses for not letting me in. But I kept trying.

But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, and the birth of my baby grew nearer, the flame Spinkly had managed to light in my heart seamed to vanish. I was left defenceless to drown in my personal ocean of despair.

I opened my eyes as the flashback stopped. Outside, a dark limousine's tyres screamed in protest as the owner stomped down on the brake pedal, to come to a shuddering stop in front of my building. Pointing my wand to my throat, I pictured my burial, with a priest reciting lines about the good I had done to the world. Nobody would be there because nobody would believe those lines. And nobody would believe them because they weren't true. "_Ava_-" I whispered. January 7th. The day I ended my life. The day I finally did something useful. In the distance, I heard someone running up the stairs.

"-_da_" The door slammed open. "_Ke_-" Scorpius Malfoy rushed in. "-_da_-" He grabbed my wrist and yanked it away from my throat. "-_vra_." I said that as a sigh of relief. The green jet of light sprang from my wand, bounced off the walls until it landed on my wardrobe and setting it on fire. I was stunned.

"Listen Rose!" Scorpius yelled, even though I was less than a meter away from him. "I want you to know I love you. I want you to know I didn't mean what I said six months ago. I want you to know I'll fix everything. I want you to know I'll get you a job. I want you to know we can live together. I wanted you to know I want you back. And lastly" He inhaled deeply though his nose. "Lastly I want you to know I'll be you baby's daddy."

An image sprang up in my mind. A sparkling image of a healthy blond haired boy playing in grass. And I smiled. I smiled, because at that moment, words failed me.


End file.
